2018-04-19The right to avoid the subject of sex was structurally embedded in the most popular dating sites. They had been designed that way, because otherwise women would not have used them.
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2018-04-16After women have babies, they begin to lose equality.
2018-04-14They both liked that being apart from each other became a structural part of their relationship, and that reasons for spending time alone did not have to be manufactured and excused.
2018-03-24If a woman pursued a strictly sexual experience, she was seen as succumbing to the wishes of the sovereign subject. If the sex she had with no commitments made her unhappy, it was not simply bad sex but rather proof of her delusion that it could be good. Male sexual desire was the overwhelming constant, the chemical imperative, and female desire either a concession or a taming influence […]
2018-04-16I hoped that married partnership would cease to be seen as a totalizing end point and instead become something more modest, perhaps an institutional basis for shared endeavors such as raising children or making art.
2018-04-06There can be no ‘equality’ in porn, no female equivalent, no turning the tables in the name of bawdy fun,” wrote Brownmiller in 1975. “Pornography, like rape, is a male invention, designed to dehumanize women, to reduce the female to an object of sexual access, not to free sensuality from moralistic or parental inhibition.”
2018-04-14[…] no such entities as “men” and “women,” just spectrums of behavior and of being in the world, that can be shifted by technology and synthetic hormones.
2018-04-14Humans were supposed to be silly from time to time, was what Elizabeth now suspected — also that the anticipated punishment for having too much fun would not arrive like an answer to a question. Punishment might, in fact, never arrive at all.
2018-04-11[…] it recalled the early days of the Internet — the Internet of strangers rather than “friends”.
2018-04-14What my married parents imparted as the lessons from the 1960s was that it was fine to have as much casual (“safe”) sex as we wanted as late-stage teenagers and young adults, and fine to secretly “experiment” with the more benign and least-addictive drugs (although no teacher or relative ever openly recommended it), but eventually we would grow up, stop using drugs, stop having sex with whomever we wanted, and settle into the nuclear families we saw on television, with an interlude in our twenties where we would live in cities with roommates. Some of us would be gay and that would be fine. Many of these families would fall apart, but we did not consider divorce a structural failure of an institution but a set of personal problems.
2018-04-16[…] a future that truly reconciles family and sexual freedom would be one more supportive of single parents, not just materially but ideologically. As a line of inquiry, this futurism would recognize that marriage and babies have no necessary link.
2018-03-17Love determined how humans arrayed themselves in space. Because it affixed people into their long-term arrangements, those around me viewed it as an eschatological event, messianic in its totality.
2018-04-11Porn taught me that the feminine expression of sexuality did not have to be a dildo in the shape of a dolphin to shed the vestiges of the patriarchy. It gave me an internal answer to the accusation of false consciousness that accompanied so much expression of sexuality by a woman.
2018-03-24A woman could not even give a blow job without a voice in the back of her head suggesting she had been “used.”
2018-03-25[…] if this strange method of sexual communication between friends could be available to everyone, then a feeling of sexual connection need not be such a rare thing, but as common as friendship itself. It could happen abundantly, with people who failed every ideal of perfection.